The Amazing Criswell--An Homage to the Immortal Legend and Superstar
Welcome to The Criswell Home Page, dedicated to promoting
the glory of Criswell.












Criswell's Filmography
Check out Criswell in the following films:
- Orgy of the Dead (1965). Be forewarned--there is no orgy, just
a wacky plot and a bunch of strippers dancing around in a cemetery. But
it is Criswell's masterpiece--A true MUST-SEE. 5 stars! Four Thumbs
up!--Jake and Dave.
- IMDB
info on Orgy of the Dead--beware: plot
summary is cursory and does not do the film justice... It calls
Criswell's character
"Ruler of the Dark"!?! And, of course, the victims are BOB and
Shirley, but the plot summary refers to Bob as "John." This film deserves
more attention to detail than that. You must see this film for yourself to
believe it!
- Plan 9 From Outer Space (1958).
IMDB
- Night of the Ghouls (1960) (AKA Revenge of the Dead)
IMDB












The Criswell Library
--Criswell in action: Quotes, Clips, Lyrics, Scripts, Books, Articles,
etc...












Great Criswell Links!
This site is maintained by Jake Royal
Last modified: 17 November 2002
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The Amazing Criswell was chosen as Bad Movie Night's Site of the Week for April 5, 98 to
April 11, 98!
Criswell Quotations Directory












Plan 9 From Outer Space:
- "Greetings,
my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you
and I are going to spend the rest of our lives." (96 K)
- "Greetings, my
friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I
are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my
friends...future events such as these...will affect you, in the
future." (170 K)
(From the Plan 9
Sounds page.)
- "We once laughed at the
horseless carriage...the aeroplane...the telephone...the electric light, vitamins, radio and
even television! And now some of us laugh at outer space..." (160 K)
(From the Plan 9
Sounds page.)
- "Confused
by his great loss, the old man left that home...never to return
again!" (tires squeal, man screams) (118 K)
(From the Plan 9
Sounds page.)
- "..His DEAD
WIFE was watching." (37 K)
(From the Plan 9
Sounds page.)
- "Can you prove
that it didn't happen?" (26 K)
(From the Plan 9
Sounds page.)
- "Perhaps on your
way home, someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it,
for they will be from outer space!" (101 K)
(From the Plan 9
Sounds page.)
Criswell Predictions:
Orgy of the Dead:
Coming Soon--the Sound byte-Hyperlinked Orgy of the Dead script!
- "I
am Criswell!" (19 K)
- Opening Monologue: "I am
Criswell! For years, I have told the almost unbelievable...related the
unreal, and shown it to be MORE...than a fact. Now I tell a tale of the
threshold, people, so astounding that some of you may faint. This is a
story of those in the Twilight Time. Once human, now monsters...in a void
between the living and the dead. Monsters to be pitied...Monsters to be
despised... A NIGHT with the Ghouls...The Ghouls reborn, from the
innermost depths... of the world." (614 K)
- "It is said
on clear nights, beneath the cold light of the moon, howl the dog and the wolf, and creeping
things crawl out of the slime. It is then the ghouls feast in all their radiance!" (198
K)
- "It is on nights
like this, most people prefer to steer clear of, uh, burial grounds!" (95 K)
- "It is on nights
like this, that the creatures are said to appear, and to WALK." (73 K)
- "The day is
gone, the night is upon us...And the moon, which controls all of the
underworld, once again shines...in radiant contentment." (131 K)
- "Come forth, come
forth, O Princess of Darkness." (49 K)
- "Time seems to stand
still. Not so the ghouls, when a night of pleasure is at hand!" (77 K)
- "If I am not
pleased by tonight's entertainment, I shall banish their souls to everlasting
damnation!" (83 K)
- "Ahh, the
curiousity of youth! On the road to ruin! May it ever be so adventurous..." (75 K)
- "I would
see for approval, the one who in life worshipped gold above
all else." (74 K)
- "Throw Gold at
her. (19 K)
More gold! (15
K)
More gold! (18
K)
More gold!!!
Ahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahaha! hahaha!" (140 K)
- "Bring 'em in!"
(11 K)
- "...A situation
easily remedied!" (27 K)
- "A pussycat is born
to be whipped." (35 K)
- "It will please me
very much to see the slave girl with her tortures!" (60 K)
- "Torture!
Torture! It pleasures me!!" (33 K)
- "HOLD!" (12 K)
- "Her dance has
pleased me." (20 K)
- "She pleases me.
Permit her to live in the World of the Snakes." (51 K)
- "(cue card
flipping sound) Now I will talk...to The Wolf Man, and The Mummy." (58 K)
- "It would seem that
The Wolf Man would have you for his own!" (Plus Shirley's "screams") (220 K)
- "No one wishes to see a man dance."
- "I repulse you?"
- "It seems you have chosen your own fate. Live with it--I should say die with
it!"
- "I am the Sole
Ruler of the Dark World!" (32 K)
- "Your own pleasure comes only after mine!"
- "Then see
that it does not happen again, in the penalty of Everlasting Despair." (50 K)
- "Then cancel my order..."
- "Hahh, there is always time...All in good time...there is always time. You shall have
your pleasure. THAT...I decree"
- "I will watch! Your
desires may be my pleasure also..." (57 K)
- "Who can say that we
do not exist-can you?" (48 K)
- "But now, we
return to our graves and you may join us soon!" (68 K), [Alternate version] (64 K)
(Makes a great system shutdown sound!)
Other:
Sound from Orgy of the Dead sampled by Jake Royal on Macintosh using
SoundEffects. See instructions and sound tools.
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